I AM ACTUALLY PARTIALLY ANNOYED at how slow Photobucket is uploading my photos from yesterday (and then I remember I’m using the hotel’s complimentary wireless & there are some parts of the world with no Internet even, so I should not be complaining) but I think I’m just annoyed at myself for not having bothered to choose what photos I wanted /o\
In any case, it’s Sunday night & gosh, I’ll be officially going down to school tomorrow and it’s kind of scary. Not in an immediate manner, but when I stop to consider what it is exactly I am doing, there’s the strong suggestion of hysteria. It helps that everything feels like a holiday at the moment, bright and new and wide-eyed, but I can’t spend my life just wandering about with amazed looks at everything and I will need to start working for my privileges soon and soon is tomorrow ):
I turn into such a lazy bum when I have the opportunity to. Pearson College is kind of gorgeous, in a hardwood, leafy sunlight-and-water way. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like studying, living there – I don’t know how I deserve it, at all. Maybe some people should study in seemingly inspiration-free areas, as a matter of productivity or not having too much happiness. It’s kind of hilarious, though. It’s right at the edge of Vancouver Island, and it has its own bay, and it’s around 15-20 KM from downtown Victoria itself, and we drove about twenty minutes through amazing seaside scenery, then rolling farm spaces and fields, then this alarmingly sandy bit with heaps of what looked like mine debris and my mom was like oh god where is your school, exactly, but then we entered this forest-y area and all was well. It is quite out of the way, in a sense – the roads leading in are windy and narrow and the one directly leading to the college is a one-way lane, but people do live in lovely houses all along the way, so it’s not like the middle of nowhere! (Also, my mom reports that the toilets are spectacularly clean, which is a huge relief. Two things, really, I need: Internet and clean toilets. A warm bed is preferable, but not strictly necessary, though it is cold here and what makes the cold fun is the prospects of warmth later in the day.) There are two fairly small towns in between the college and Victoria itself, so weekend grocery shopping shouldn’t be too much of a hassle.
Victoria itself is a pretty lazy city – mostly, the demographics are middle-age and older, and I definitely see less (attractively) young people as compared to even surbaban Seattle, but that’s okay. It probably means crime is lower, and today I reevaluated my feelings of safety and I feel less paranoid about it, though it was definitely helped by the rental of a car; getting around with a car after dark is infinitely safer, though if you are walking around in the downtown area, it’s definitely safe enough. The streets are fairly quiet, though – no Orchard Road, definitely! Many businesses don’t open on Sundays, or close early (which is still absolutely hilarious), but I’m not sure what my senior was talking about re: the lack of food and stationery and other necessities, because supermarkets here are well-stocked, though not few things are particularly cheaper. (My parents said it was probably because she didn’t have the luxury of exploring the place before, which I must remember is a luxury; most students probably won’t have both parents driving them into Pearson, or even to Victoria itself /: )
So tonight is the last night of foolish, lazy childhood, I suppose, and also living with my parents, and I’m not quite sure what to feel. I would definitely be glad to go meet people my age after so many days of non-contact with anyone I know/might know in future, people I’ll spend the next two years of my life, more or less, with, but IT’S SO ANNOYING I CANNOT SAY PROPERLY THAT I AM AFRAID because I am, keenly so at sporadic moments, but whenever I think about it, the fear slips away somewhere I can’t reach, though I know it is there ): I just need to be kept from thinking about it – it’ll hit me someday, I’d expect, this accumulation of not being able to see everyone when I think about it – but um. I don’t know ): It definitely takes effort writing emails back & forth, I know, but reading them are really : D on my side, though I’m not sure about vice versa \o/
I guess it’s the pressure & weight of my responsibilities now. I can’t quite coast by the next two years & I feel like I’ve done a lot of that in the past few years.
(I JUST REALIZED I BASICALLY REPEATED WHAT I SAID AT THE BEGINNING OF THE POST D<)
To make this post actually worth reading, THE HIGHLIGHT OF TODAY: SEAGULLS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE SEAGULLS? I LOVE SEAGULLS SO MUCH, IT’S INSANE. THEY ARE GORGEOUS CREATURES I WANT TO OWN A PET SEAGULL I WANT TO BE A SEAGULL.
– and wow, even LJ is being a bitch and refusing to let me upload my seagull photos ): ): ): Later, I guess? Hope everything is well