i chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose

(Stupid thing: for the longest time I thought that song was about literally, God and the search for him, because of the first line: God, that was strange to see you again and I thought the entire song was so incredibly subversive. It was only recently that I realized that god is used as an exclamation. There, now you know.)

I’m slightly exhausted, the kind of fatigue that comes with good physical labour. Forgot to say – perhaps I have mentioned in passing – I am volunteering at an organic farm for this Project Week. Yesterday we turned compost, picked red wriggler worms out of them to make a worm bin (that was actually fun heh; obviously I wore gloves. My group kept two to put in flower pots for some reason and then forgot them in someone’s jacket pocket \o/) and extracted seeds from dried lion’s ears. Today I did some old-fashioned digging; we dug up strawberry plants to replant them, and then we built a couple of new beds, adding compost and tilling. It was sunny and the sky felt split right open, though the weather in this part of Canada is such that it was sunny, raining, windy and snowing all at the same time. (No rainbows.) A part of me is questioning my judgment right now, because my brain is programmed to think that sun = heat, so I was working in a t-shirt and a thin shirt over, and sometimes the wind blew hard enough that people felt overbalanced. Did I also mentioned it drizzled a little? It’s barely spring here, it was probably around 3-6 deg C. Now I feel a little like the prelude to sickness.

My hostel is pretty cool. It’s right downtown, which is convenient – I have decided I prefer city living, especially a walkable city like Victoria. It has a large, well-stocked, clean kitchen. Six of us from the group are sharing the room, and the room is small enough that I can easily imaginable it almost unlivable with annoying roommates, but nonetheless.

BUT. Was really on today at the mural painting thing with youths from the Inter-Cultural Association, though the whole thing was kind of awkward because I don’t think we really helped much, or actually interacted with them significantly. We did take initiative to strike up conversations and everything, but I don’t feel like we connected as youths, but more of as facilitators-participants, and I felt there was a kind of talking-down, which :l It’s so difficult to do one-off service, so unpredictable and uncontrollable the nature of impact.

Had photos but am really sleepy now so I think I will HIT THE SACK? HAY? and try to stave off sickness hopefully. There should be an illness quota I just recovered a week ago D<


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