i love you. i’m glad i exist.

I’m in a languorous, pleasantly drugged out state right now – endorphins, exercise-related and otherwise. Block Week is officially over – countdown begins towards IB exams for the 2nd years, and on a minutely lesser scale, first year exams for me, which are as, if not more, important than the IB finals because that’s what I use to apply to universities. I am actually going to start studying now.

It is too sweeping, too declarative to say that I am seeing things in a new light. What I can only say, cautiously, is that last night I was working till 2 AM, which is not that big a surprise compared to the fact that I wanted to work that long, and today although I could curl up in my bed now and sleep I am reluctant to, because somewhere a reserve of energy has been uncovered and resolve is piping through me. This fading of the compulsive need to sleep marks, I suspect, a return to the equilibrium established at home. For me it means more interest, more emotional motivation, more atmospheric support from people – the fact that I am now surrounded enough by people I am invested in to pull myself out of aimlessness-inspired fatigue. Also, the days are lengthening marvellously – light now goes till 7 PM, and the sun changes everything. Pranced around in a halter top this afternoon in glorious celebration.

I am going to make the next two months worth it, you know – worth the immense joy of going back home (and seeing all you guys!) and having the past seven months to lark away.


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