SO Project Week is going pretty awesomely, I must say, and I'm glad my height phobia seems conquerable. With practice – ! The things that seem completely undoable and professional before, all those gymnastics stunts, strange suspension tricks, now seem within reach, albeit with a great deal of (strength) training and stretching and work, of course. At least now I have a concrete reason to go to the gym.

Today was the third session (gosh, has it been only three?) and I felt a lot better afterwards because I managed to get a few moves right – get the sense of it. Did a Bird's Nest on the trapeze, a move where your legs are twined around the ropes and you're upside down with your hands gripping the trapeze and your back arched outwards. That was fun, and surprisingly easy and right-feeling when you tense your abs and push yourself up into the right position. I still have problems with letting go of the trapeze with one hand, because I'm insecure about my grip, but I'll work on it. I have problems with letting go in general, on the silks too, even though I'm totally suspended and caught and I know I won't fall, but if I let my hands drop I feel this horrifying jerk of vertigo. Am managing to jump myself upside down with my hands holding on and my legs wrapped around the silk, but I just need a lot more upper body strength to do anything else comfortably, so – the gym it is! We're getting one fabric at the college so we'll be able to do it ~all the time. (And if you remember me from my canoe training days, yeah … all the time it is.)

At the same time, I've gotten significant amounts of studying done – with less to show for it than expected, because through my useful procrastination method, I have spent quite some time on German, probably more than I should. But this morning I spent a few hours reading up on the philosophy of 'the Other' for my philosophy IA, and it was honestly so much fun; I had a few perspectives (philosophers) and the moments of sudden clarity or total confusion were a little exciting, and the sense that I was Getting Somewhere. I have a coherent framework to present my research in on Tuesday, so that's great. The Oxford TSA is … trickier than I expected, but fun too, though more of a glorified IQ test than anything else. Have not tried the essay questions yet – I probably should soon. They do look interesting though. I'm nervous.

I'm in bed now, because I'm exhausted and trying to decide if I should sleep or study. My bed is heated (!) I should buy a heating pad for my bed in Pearson. I feel like I'm turning into an old person sometimes, or at least a quiet one. Or I've always been a quiet person; I just used to hide it better.

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