Currently, I would like nothing better but to curl up next to someone and go to sleep, the fact that it is 4.18 pm notwithstanding. I can’t, however, because I am waiting for my second year roommate, Renata, to come back from her lecture because I have her access pass. For context, it seems necessary to say that I’m at Imperial College, London, right now, in the room she shares with another freshman from the UK/HK. It has been a lovely 24 hours, and the prospect of leaving tomorrow morning doesn’t exactly inspire joy, but I also anticipate returning to Pearson and seeing people, before breaking for winter in another week’s time. I appreciate this mild, circumspect affection for people. It’s similar to how I would like to see my family during winter again, but not desperately, and their departure two weeks after will only be briefly distressing.
I have mellowed, I suppose. There is fearful respect of the abyss now.
Oxford interviews were – an experience to remember; the entire four days were, and unfortunately, they coalesced my desire to study there, but it’s not an absolute one. I would be equally happy, just in a different way, should I, as is likely, be rejected and eventually end up in another university. At the same time, however, it is my heart’s desire to be there. The atmosphere, the campus, the town, the tutors, the students, the bicycles, the weather, the surroundings – all appear to me as in a customized dream. I have a fondness for those British people, all dressed and immaculately coiffed, as if they had stopped by on the way to a photoshoot. I like the elegance it imposed on me, the care I took with my attire the few days I was there. The interviews themselves were engaging and fun, though in retrospect everything I said sounded either ridiculous or very ridiculous. But the tutors were friendly and approachable – they reminded me of HP tutors, to be honest. In any case, it’s done and I await January. London is lovely too, though the town of Oxford appeals to me more. I am used to the bustle of the Underground (which I never realized how much Singapore ripped off from for our MRTs!!), the milling crowds, the city life, and I’m at ease in it, but I don’t want to be part of it for the time being. The access to nightlife and activity is overrated – and irrelevant to me, in any case. I like the opportunity for introspection public transport travel gives me, but the crush of people is terrible. Went on a quick tour of downtown, past UCL and LSE, and the general area for UoL, and they were stately and modern and fashionable, but it’s too … office-y for me, too practical and efficient. I want a sense of history permeating my university, the tangible weight of tradition, of the previous generations of thought.
The break from Pearson is timely, I feel. I am very excited for university – I like the freedom of preparing your own meals, of having your own room (sort of), of arranging your schedule and grocery shopping and planning a budget. But perhaps it’s simply the novelty speaking, and the tedium of responsibility will set in soon enough.
and LJ ate my post halfway so. Meh.