you’re the one i want
to see me
for all the stupid shit
(3 rounds and a sound, blind pilot)
The worst thing, I think, about seeing people is the part where you have to leave again. I always forget; no matter how unceremonious I try to make my departure, the aftermath is unavoidable, and I can only imagine that the reality of my dream of roaming the world is filled with train stations and bus terminals and airports suffused, smeared around the edges with the heavy colour of wistfulness, if not outright sorrow.
(With Pearson, I think, a substantial part of that comes from the ghost memory of the pathos of our graduation, the collective hysteria, the dawn that marched inexorably in under the cover of night, the buses that heaved up Pearson College Drive and the distraught students clinging with their eyes: the dogma that we believed for two years – you’ve never see each other again! which is not to say that it isn’t fatally true, but dogma nonetheless – even as I marvel at the incredulity of that week with the sobriety of distance, there is some … I think of it as muscle memory. You know, the heart is a muscle, and all that.)
That Debbie Downer moment aside, London was lovel(ier than I remembered) and it was a good day and a half. HAD RICE for the first time since my parents left Oxford – that is noteworthy. And um, braised pork intestines. Yum. From Chinatown, of course, after I already had two bowls of ramen at this decent Japanese noodlehouse. Spoke Mandarin to the waitress standing outside the restaurant, which was comfortingly familiar, but my dialogues in Mandarin are marred by a faint unease that I have a foreign accent in Mandarin. That would be disastrous. The people were lovely, though I wish we had longer. Their houses were lovely, too. I want to rent an apartment, I really do. Or a house. That sounds gorgeous.
Photos in the next (I keep promising my windsurfing photos!!!); need to go to bed now, at 8.40 pm, because I had approximately four hours of sleep last night, in order to catch the coach back to Oxford this morning for my 10 am lecture.